Portsmouth Joggers Club
A Runners Story
© Alan Dunk www.denmeadphotos.co.uk
Webmasters Note :
Carmen (far right) sent this article to me back in October 2007 but I have held it back until before the start of the 2008/9 HRRL season as I believe it encapsulates everything that being a runner and a Portsmouth Jogger is all about.
So go on, take up the challenge and enter a race ................................ go on you know you want to !!
Ever Thought About Taking Part In Races?
Maybe you think that it’s
not your sort of thing. Maybe you feel that races are for ‘proper’
runners, not the likes of you or that you’re not fast enough? Maybe it’s
the fear of being last or that you won’t fit in because you don’t look
like a runner and don’t have the right gear.
These are the sort of thoughts that were going through my head after I
sent off the form for my first race. Once the form was in the post I was
filled with a sense of horror. What had I let myself in for? After all,
this wasn’t a fun run, but a proper league race! I wasn’t a club runner
and I had only been jogging really slowly for a few months.
As the day drew closer I tried to forget about the race and even stopped
training or doing anything that would remind me of the impossible
challenge I had set myself. I hardly slept the night before and
breakfast was difficult to swallow because the butterflies in my stomach
were more interested in doing double back flips than in digesting my
porridge.
I turned up at the start line and buried myself deep in the pack; just
in case there was anyone I knew watching. In a desperate attempt to keep
my mind off what I was doing I started watching the people around me and
what I saw was a big surprise. Yes, there were lots of ‘proper’ runners,
wearing their club vests and warming up along the side of the road, but
there were also a lot of people in tatty jogging bottoms and T-shirts,
and some of them even looked as unfit and over weight as me!
Then the gun went off, and I was jogging across the start line with all
the other runners. Very quickly the front runners disappeared off ahead
and I was left almost on my own at the back, feeling out of place and
regretting the whole thing. But I resolved to make the most of it. After
all I had paid my money and had as much right to be there as anyone
else, so I was going to try my hardest to run to the end and win a
personal achievement for myself, no matter what anyone else did!
So I ran, or should I say plodded, round the course. I was overtaken by
one person, then another, then the old man who looked like he could have
a heart attack at any moment. And as if my confidence wasn’t knocked
enough, I was then overtaken by two power walkers going faster than I
could run!
At that stage I had had enough. The race consisted of three laps, so I
decided that I would get to the end of the lap and give up. I had tried,
I had made a fool of myself and I was going home to a warm bath and
plenty of alcohol to drown my sorrows.
Then another surprise – people were cheering me on! I checked behind me
but the next person was way back, so they really must have been cheering
for me! The encouragement that was directed at me from the marshals was
fantastic. They really seemed to care that I was finding it hard and
they wanted me to finish. My legs were like lead and I wanted to cry,
but as I slowed down somebody shouted at me ‘Come on, you are doing
great’ and I felt that I couldn’t embarrass myself by dropping out while
they were within sight. So I kept going and started the last lap.
Then eventually the end was in sight and I put in one final effort to
drag myself over the finish line without collapsing. Somebody handed me
a medal and someone else gave me a cup of water and everyone was
congratulating me and telling me what a great person I was! Who were
these people? I hadn’t taken any supporters with me because I wanted as
few people as possible to witness my embarrassment, but here were
complete strangers treating me as if I was someone special. Then it
occurred to me that I was someone special – I had just completed my
first race. I had set myself a challenge and I had completed it despite
skipping the training. I hadn’t embarrassed myself, I hadn’t dropped
out, I hadn’t even walked any of it, although I had seen a lot of other
people walking. I had faced my fears and conquered them. What more could
I ask!
The feeling was amazing – the best you can get without drugs.
Exhaustion, elation, pride and a true sense of achievement were all
mixed in with the tears of joy. I walked around with a grin on my face
for at least a week afterwards, showing everyone my medal and enjoying
the looks on their faces as they accepted that short, dumpy, unfit me
had actually completed a race!
That was before I became a Portsmouth Jogger. I didn’t join the club to
race; I only wanted company while running and a bit of motivation when
the weather was bad. But after finishing my first race I wanted to get
that feeling of personal achievement and the adrenaline rush again so I
tentatively entered more races. Races also provide me with the
motivation to keep up the training and give me targets to work towards.
Never again am I going to enter a race as unprepared as that first one
and it is partly that fear that motivates me to train when I am tired or
when the weather is bad.
Racing as a Portsmouth Jogger is completely different to racing as an
unaffiliated runner. No longer do I have to wait at the start line,
trying to distract my thoughts while the butterflies carry on their
gymnastics in my stomach. Now I have company, people to share the
experience with, and lots of support from everyone else in the club.
Instead of struggling down the finishing straight to the thought that
the crowd is cheering on somebody behind me, I now hear my name called
out by what sounds like a hundred voices.
At the end of my first race for the club I was told that they were
grateful that I had run for them. I had made up the third member of the
Women’s B team and without me they would have lost points. I might have
come 9th from last, but I was still appreciated and made to feel like a
very important member of the team. I am now proud to run for the
Portsmouth Joggers and I hold my head up high when I am lining up at the
back of the starting grid, instead of hiding in the crowd hoping that I
don’t see anyone who knows me.
And coming last isn’t that bad when you have a mass of people in blue
club vests cheering you on as if you are about to win the gold medal at
the Olympic games!
So why not give it a go yourself? You might be surprised at how much you
can achieve, just like I was. However well or badly you do, you will
still have achieved more than all those people who never even made the
effort and that alone is something to be proud of.
© Carmen Scales
Note: Carmen ran 9 out of 10 Hampshire Road Race League races in
2007/8, a fantastic performance.
